Indiana University Athletics
The Goldmans: Indiana's Wrestling Family
2/19/2016 11:58:00 AM | Wrestling
By Sam Beishuizen | Twitter
IUHoosiers.com
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - "So what's it like wrestling for your dad?"
Garret Goldman smiles when he's asked about his father, Indiana head wrestling coach Duane Goldman. His answer is poised and almost sounds rehearsed. Days before his final match in Bloomington, Garret knew it was coming because he's answered it countless times before.
"I've been asked that question more than anything I can remember," Garret said. "A lot of people think that it's really tough and it must be hard and he must be really hard on me, but he's done a really good job treating me like someone on the team. He doesn't get on me more than he would any other athlete and he doesn't give me an easier time than he would anybody else."
Garret's impending graduation is a bittersweet milestone for the Goldman family. Duane, his wife Patricia, son Garret and daughters Aphten and Avery have been intertwined with Indiana wrestling for more than two decades. It started before Garrett was born and will continue after he's graduated.
"Wrestling has been our life," Patricia said. "It truly has been."
Duane and Patricia started dating at the University of Iowa where Duane was a standout wrestler in the mid-1980s. Patricia had her share of wrestling knowledge thanks to a brother who wrestled and an uncle who was a hall of fame wrestling coach in his own right, but Duane's matches were the first Hawkeye wrestling matches she ever went to.
As it turned out, that was only the beginning.
The two would get married, start a family and eventually move to Bloomington so that Duane could take over the helm of the Hoosiers' wrestling program for the 1992-93 season. Not long after Duane started coaching and the Goldman family began to grow, he and Patricia quickly realized they'd need to start bringing their children with the team on the road if they were going to want to spend time as a family.
Between the 6:30 a.m. practices, bus trips to matches and countless hours on the phone, the Goldmans were together. The team became an extension of the family and the family became an extension of the team.
"I used to say my kids could check themselves into a hotel and find the pool by the time they were three," Patricia said.
Duane never wanted his family to feel separated or distant because of his career. When he stepped on the bus to head to a match, they followed behind. When the wrestlers were in the wrestling room, the rest of the Goldmans were often running around or playing on the mats.
During away meets, Duane would race his kids up and down the hallways in hotels across the country. Even after grueling 12 hour tournaments—win or loss—he would find time to take his kids down to the hotel pool to play.
"I cannot say enough about how well my dad balanced everything," said Aphten, an Indiana graduate herself who spent four seasons as the team's manager. "It's amazing how much he fully integrated us into the program."
Duane and Patricia's youngest daughter Avery, who attends Ball State, still makes the two-and-a-half hour drive from Muncie to watch each of the Hoosiers home matches.
The Goldman kids used to sit together in the back of the team bus with their favorite wrestlers who made sure they were entertained by playing Go Fish! or watching Disney movies. When she was a little girl, Aphten used to sit next to former Hoosier Trevor Elliott, her favorite wrestler, from the moment the bus left to the parking lot to when it arrived at the hotel.
"We grew up on that wrestling bus," Aphten said.
Generations of Indiana wrestlers annually made their way to the Goldman house every preseason to celebrate the start of a new year with the family. Duane would drive his wrestlers out in the countryside, drop them off with directions to their home and have them run back as a team as part of their training.
When they arrived, they'd have a home cooked pasta dinner waiting for them.
Then they'd join the Goldman kids in the pool.
"Gosh it's been fun," Patricia said. "When you're as close to the team like that, they really become as much a part of our family as we are the team, you know? It's been everything we could have hoped for."
Even though he grew up alongside the Hoosiers' wrestlers, Garret never seriously indicated that he wanted to wrestle for his father at Indiana until late in his prep career. He mostly kept quiet about that as he made his own name for himself in high school.
It wasn't until one of his most heartbreaking losses in his career—an upset defeat at semi-state his junior year of high school—that Garret revealed to his mother how badly he wanted to go to Indiana.
"Why are you so upset?" Patricia asked Garret. "You have another year. You'll be back."
"Mom, if I don't win a state title, Dad can't recruit me," Garret told her.
That was the first time he ever brought up wrestling for Duane.
"We were all shocked," Patricia said. "We really didn't have any idea how much that meant to him."
Six years later, Garret will take the mat for the final time in Bloomington under his father's guidance Sunday afternoon against Appalachian State in the NWCA Division I National Duals Championship Series.
His Indiana career has been filled with self-described highs and lows as he's battled through injury as the Hoosiers' regular heavyweight. Garrett's college matches make up the majority of the bouts Duane has gotten to see because he was too busy coaching to travel to watch Garret wrestle in high school.
Garret said that's made the last five seasons of wrestling together as father and son, athlete and coach that much more special.
"It's pretty cool because it's really given us a different relationship than most people have with their fathers," Garret said. "I think overall, it's made us closer."
It's not uncommon for Duane to get nervous before the start of matches. With all that goes into scouting reports, training and preparation, he knows the stakes of such a physical sport.
But Sunday's match could be the most nervous Duane gets for a while. He anticipates being significantly calmer this time next season.
"I don't think I'll ever get as nervous again in my life once he graduates," Duane said. "It's just a whole different level of anxiety and emotion, just feeling appreciation and love and all those things. It all gets wrapped up."
Ask any of the Goldmans and they'll admit Garret's wrestling career coming to an end is surreal.
It's a landmark time in the family's relationship that shows just how far they've come together. The journey won't be replicated again, but they won't soon be forgetting all that went into it.
Garret will graduate, Duane will stay and the family ties with Indiana wrestling will go on.
It's what the Goldmans do.
IUHoosiers.com
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - "So what's it like wrestling for your dad?"
Garret Goldman smiles when he's asked about his father, Indiana head wrestling coach Duane Goldman. His answer is poised and almost sounds rehearsed. Days before his final match in Bloomington, Garret knew it was coming because he's answered it countless times before.
"I've been asked that question more than anything I can remember," Garret said. "A lot of people think that it's really tough and it must be hard and he must be really hard on me, but he's done a really good job treating me like someone on the team. He doesn't get on me more than he would any other athlete and he doesn't give me an easier time than he would anybody else."
Garret's impending graduation is a bittersweet milestone for the Goldman family. Duane, his wife Patricia, son Garret and daughters Aphten and Avery have been intertwined with Indiana wrestling for more than two decades. It started before Garrett was born and will continue after he's graduated.
"Wrestling has been our life," Patricia said. "It truly has been."
Duane and Patricia started dating at the University of Iowa where Duane was a standout wrestler in the mid-1980s. Patricia had her share of wrestling knowledge thanks to a brother who wrestled and an uncle who was a hall of fame wrestling coach in his own right, but Duane's matches were the first Hawkeye wrestling matches she ever went to.
As it turned out, that was only the beginning.
The two would get married, start a family and eventually move to Bloomington so that Duane could take over the helm of the Hoosiers' wrestling program for the 1992-93 season. Not long after Duane started coaching and the Goldman family began to grow, he and Patricia quickly realized they'd need to start bringing their children with the team on the road if they were going to want to spend time as a family.
Between the 6:30 a.m. practices, bus trips to matches and countless hours on the phone, the Goldmans were together. The team became an extension of the family and the family became an extension of the team.
"I used to say my kids could check themselves into a hotel and find the pool by the time they were three," Patricia said.
Duane never wanted his family to feel separated or distant because of his career. When he stepped on the bus to head to a match, they followed behind. When the wrestlers were in the wrestling room, the rest of the Goldmans were often running around or playing on the mats.
During away meets, Duane would race his kids up and down the hallways in hotels across the country. Even after grueling 12 hour tournaments—win or loss—he would find time to take his kids down to the hotel pool to play.
"I cannot say enough about how well my dad balanced everything," said Aphten, an Indiana graduate herself who spent four seasons as the team's manager. "It's amazing how much he fully integrated us into the program."
Duane and Patricia's youngest daughter Avery, who attends Ball State, still makes the two-and-a-half hour drive from Muncie to watch each of the Hoosiers home matches.
The Goldman kids used to sit together in the back of the team bus with their favorite wrestlers who made sure they were entertained by playing Go Fish! or watching Disney movies. When she was a little girl, Aphten used to sit next to former Hoosier Trevor Elliott, her favorite wrestler, from the moment the bus left to the parking lot to when it arrived at the hotel.
"We grew up on that wrestling bus," Aphten said.
Generations of Indiana wrestlers annually made their way to the Goldman house every preseason to celebrate the start of a new year with the family. Duane would drive his wrestlers out in the countryside, drop them off with directions to their home and have them run back as a team as part of their training.
When they arrived, they'd have a home cooked pasta dinner waiting for them.
Then they'd join the Goldman kids in the pool.
"Gosh it's been fun," Patricia said. "When you're as close to the team like that, they really become as much a part of our family as we are the team, you know? It's been everything we could have hoped for."
Even though he grew up alongside the Hoosiers' wrestlers, Garret never seriously indicated that he wanted to wrestle for his father at Indiana until late in his prep career. He mostly kept quiet about that as he made his own name for himself in high school.
It wasn't until one of his most heartbreaking losses in his career—an upset defeat at semi-state his junior year of high school—that Garret revealed to his mother how badly he wanted to go to Indiana.
"Why are you so upset?" Patricia asked Garret. "You have another year. You'll be back."
"Mom, if I don't win a state title, Dad can't recruit me," Garret told her.
That was the first time he ever brought up wrestling for Duane.
"We were all shocked," Patricia said. "We really didn't have any idea how much that meant to him."
Six years later, Garret will take the mat for the final time in Bloomington under his father's guidance Sunday afternoon against Appalachian State in the NWCA Division I National Duals Championship Series.
His Indiana career has been filled with self-described highs and lows as he's battled through injury as the Hoosiers' regular heavyweight. Garrett's college matches make up the majority of the bouts Duane has gotten to see because he was too busy coaching to travel to watch Garret wrestle in high school.
Garret said that's made the last five seasons of wrestling together as father and son, athlete and coach that much more special.
"It's pretty cool because it's really given us a different relationship than most people have with their fathers," Garret said. "I think overall, it's made us closer."
It's not uncommon for Duane to get nervous before the start of matches. With all that goes into scouting reports, training and preparation, he knows the stakes of such a physical sport.
But Sunday's match could be the most nervous Duane gets for a while. He anticipates being significantly calmer this time next season.
"I don't think I'll ever get as nervous again in my life once he graduates," Duane said. "It's just a whole different level of anxiety and emotion, just feeling appreciation and love and all those things. It all gets wrapped up."
Ask any of the Goldmans and they'll admit Garret's wrestling career coming to an end is surreal.
It's a landmark time in the family's relationship that shows just how far they've come together. The journey won't be replicated again, but they won't soon be forgetting all that went into it.
Garret will graduate, Duane will stay and the family ties with Indiana wrestling will go on.
It's what the Goldmans do.
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